They considered you a throw away, a mishap, a mistake, an ironic story in your parents little black book of drunken nights and broken condoms. Every time you inhaled, they seemed to apologize to the trees for your taking of oxygen. They wanted you small and tucked away, they wanted you like them. You weren't built like them though. You'd had a lot more cuts and scrapes and bruises and rust--- almost none of it self inflicted yet the good Christians refused to show compassion. You were a product of your circumstances, yet they made you an unfortunate result of your choices; but I loved you anyway. I loved you when you told me who you'd hurt and just how you did it. I loved you when you didn't know how to love yourself. I loved you when you were so vile that you didn't deserve to be loved. When you proved them right. When you made the wrong choices. When you ruined your life and mine. I loved you through a cell, I loved you over the phone and over distances less traveled. I loved you when you didn't want me to. I loved you more than I loved myself and that may be my biggest regret. But in you I saw hope and vitality and youth and love and even when you were selfish and even when you were surly and unkind I saw the good in you. You taught me to love. You showed me that I deserved love. You released butterflies in my stomach. You gave me my first kiss. You gave me my last kiss. Your lips were pillow soft and your hands were rough and calloused but they felt like hard earned love. I remember tracing your scars with my fingers hearing the story behind each of them wishing I could take away the hurt and the pain and the environment that created them all but knowing without it you wouldn't be you. Maybe I was selfish too. Maybe you were rebellion. You were too old and too fast but I know the love was real. Sometimes I feel like I dreamt it. Like you never really existed but then I remember the day we laid you to rest how your mother screamed that could not be imagined. The pastor said that day that you were an angel sent down from heaven and now that your duty was done you were going to ascend to be with your father. I pray that is where you are now. I pray that He saw the good in you too. I pray that your family has found peace. I pray that I may one day find peace. I am grateful to have known you blessed to have loved you. Even though our time was cut short I know that even in the afterlife our love reigns supreme. That there are angels writing poems about our forbidden affair. Folklore being shared about the star crossed lovers who found mercy in each other. I will never let them forget you. They have buried your body but not your memory. I will continue to utter your name with a sad smile playing on my lips. I won't ever forget you. Your memory will walk among us. You will be honored like a fallen soldier. I love and miss you so much. Everyday I wish you were here and that I could share these things with you. I cannot wish to go back in time because things were perfect in the snapshot of history that we are able to call ours. I hope that you remember it as fondly as I do. I hope that you remember me.